Three Hard Lessons I Learned in 2019

 

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Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

-Vernon Saunders Law

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Okay, let’s get right to it.  Looking back over 2019, what were the three most important / difficult lesson you learned or relearned?   My three are as follows:

1. It’s up to me
2. Trust God, not my bank account
3. Embrace and integrate my shadow

It’s Up to Me

Achieving your dreams is up to you.  Achieving my dreams is up to me.  No one can be as all-in as you.  No one will hold in their heart the same level pure, focused passion and commitment for your dream that you carry.  We should surround ourselves with others who are walking a similar path, because yes, we all need help and encouragement along the way, but ultimately no one is going to do the work for for us.  

It’s up to you.  

It’s up to me.

Trust God, not My Bank Account

God. Bank account. One of these is constant and the other is not, at all. Trusting God when the skies are clear, the pizza and ice cream are tasty and plentiful, and the bank account is fat, healthy, and happy is…rather easy.  But what happens when the opposite becomes true?  Do we trust Him still?  If we don’t, does that mean we never really trusted Him to begin with? Conditional trust, even if it is sincere or goes unnoticed, isn’t true trust–its a very shaky foundation that will fail when fire-tested.

We all have (a lot of) room to grow, and this is one of the most challenging areas for most of us.  

Embrace and Integrate My Shadow

You probably already know this, but by “shadow” I mean, in short, the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden from others, and actively deny within our own hearts and minds.  Those hidden traits could be dangerous, aggressive, unmannered, and downright unpleasant, but the odd truth is, we need the shadow side because without it, we will never realize our true strength,  or become our true self.  

Don’t get this wrong; integrating the shadow doesn’t mean giving in to its desires.  It means recognizing our capacity for bad, acknowledging what is within us, but choosing the good.  I’m sure I’ve butchered the whole concept, so please do your own research on this really interesting and important topic.  This video of Professor Jordan Peterson is a good place to start:

The Star Trek episode “The Enemy Within” puts this concept on display in a very understandable way.   In this episode, a transporter malfunction splits Captain Kirk into two distinct people / personas: the good side and his shadow side.  While the fact that he’s not really the Captain remains unnoticed by the crew, the shadow-Kirk goes about doing all manner of dark things, acting on his base instincts and desires. The good-Kirk, on the other hand, is growing noticeable weaker and more and more indecisive. 

Eventually, the problem is discovered and they realize that Kirk will die if both sides are not reintegrated into the single person.  

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There you have it, three hard lessons the year 2019 handed me…and that I’m still working on.  So, what about you?  What are three lessons you learned or are still learning from 2019?  Please share below or message me!

Happy New Year!  Here’s to a great 2020!

EDB

01.06.20